Monday, May 28, 2007

A series of firsts (pictures to follow)

Today I woke up in my first bed-and-breakfast, visited my first winery, had my first proper wine tasting, had a nap (not a first), had some dinner (again…), then Dara and I retreated to our room to enjoy a couples’ massage. I was originally hesitant about my first massage, because I’m a shy guy and the thought of stripping down to the boxers in front of a stranger was strange. But I was surprisingly comfortable, and I’m having a great time with Dara as we celebrate our first anniversary. Now here’s to seconds.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six-hundred minutes


Today is my 1-year anniversary with my beautiful, spunky wife Dara. I can't really get too into the details right now because blogging isn't a great expenditure of time when you've got a marriage to celebrate. But briefly:

-We woke up this morning and exchanged cards together, went to work, then came home for a quiet evening together. But I did manage to buy Dara a wedding cake, because she so loved ours last week. Included is a picture. Happy anniversary, beautiful wife of mine. 1 down, and many more to go- I'm looking forward to every single one of them.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Huffington Posters

A couple of brilliant articles by Chris Kelly and John Ridley, respectively:

Medved Minute

Every time Michael Medved interprets a poll, a statistician dies.

Last week, a Rasmussen survey asked "Did Bush know about the 9/11 attacks in advance?" Sixty-five percent of Democrats said "no" or they didn't know. Which seems like a reasonable response to a dopey question about what's going on in someone else's mind.

35% said "yes." Or, as Medved pretends to read it:

"... A STUNNING 61% OF DEMOCRATS BELIEVED THAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES MAY WELL HAVE COLLABORATED IN THE MURDER OF 3,000 OF HIS FELLOW CITIZENS."

Let's set aside whether or not 61% of anything can be stunning. (Report card day must be a frightening time around the Medved house.) That's not what the survey said. Medved gets that number by adding the "yeses" (35%) and the "no opinions" (26%) together. (Just like I added the "no opinions" to the "nos" to get 65%.) In other words, a made-up non-quasi-plurality of Democrats don't not not think that the president didn't see 9/11 coming.

Or, in Medved World:

"CONSPIRACY THEORISTS, PARANOIDS AND AMERICA-HATING EXTREMISTS HAVE TAKEN OVER ONE OF OUR MAJOR POLITICAL PARTIES."

Three things:

1- 35% can't take over anything, unless Katherine Harris counts the votes.

2- The question on the poll is ambiguous. "Did Bush know about the 9/11 attacks in advance?" On August 6th, he was handed a report called "Bin Laden Determined To Strike in US." Does that count as knowing? Only if we're sure he can read.

3- I'm not convinced George Bush knows about the 9/11 attacks today. He's pretty insulated.

4- Michael Medved smells like urine.

Okay, that's four things. But honest men can disagree about matters of opinion. Like math.

-Chris Kelly

______

Stop the Presses: Al Sharpton's a Hatemongering Hypocrite

File this one under the heading THINGS WE ALREADY KNOW, right next to "water is wet" and "sunshine is warm." Al Sharpton is a hypocrite. And a hatemongering one at that.

When we were last visited by - or rather forced to endure - Reverend Al, he was once again snatching up the scepter of media-anointed spokesman for All Things Black.

It was the heady days of the Affair Imus. The women of the Rutgers B-ball team had the kink of their hair and the level of their sexuality called into question by the I-Man. Al, as Al is wont to do, took it upon himself to act without invitation and speak for those who were perfectly capable of speaking for themselves (for those keeping score, that's hypocrisy number one).

Toward the tail end of that TV news cycle whipped storm, when it was pointed out to Al that a variation of Imus's rant could be heard with an exponent in heavy rotation within a certain variety of rap music, Al promised to go at the extreme ends of the music business with the same camera-whoring zeal with which he attacked Imus.

On the 12th it will have been a month since Imus was dropped by CBS.

Though I make a point of closely following the news, I was apparently otherwise occupied during the ten minutes Al was flogging his big Anti-misogyny in Music Campaign.

Or so I thought.

As it turns out, it was Al who was otherwise occupied. Rather than take on misogyny, the man who decried there was no place in the culture for hateful language...well, he went out and fresh-brewed some hate talk of his own.

During a debate held Monday at the New York Public Library with atheist author Christopher Hitchens, Al assessed Mormon Mitt Romney's presidential bid thusly: "As for the one Mormon running for office, those who really believe in God will defeat him anyways, so don't worry about that; that's a temporary situation."

"Those who really believe in God."

Lemme be real clear about something. There are no tears shed in the Ridley household over the loss of Don Imus from waves of either radio or TV. However, "nappy headed 'hos" sounds nearly genteel in the echo chamber of Al's religious fanaticism.

But his faith-based bashing is only part one in Al's (current) hypocrisy double header. Al said something hurtful and bigoted, and the way to man up to his mistake is merely to apologize.

But to man up to something, ya gotta be a man.

From Al there was no apology. Only spin.

See, Al - according to Al - wasn't really talking about Romney when he used the phrase "the one Mormon running for office." Al was actually contrasting himself with Christopher Hitchens.

Interesting.

I spoke with Chris Hitchens when I was co-hosting the MSNBC morning news today (in Imus's old slot, I sweetly say). Though Hitchens could be confused for many things, as a devout atheist a Mormon ain't one of them.

Having dangled an excuse so ludicrous in an attempt to give himself cover, it was clearly time for a mea culpa from the Rev.

From Al there was no apology. Only more spin.

Version 2.0 of "what I meant to say" straight from Al: "What I said was that we would defeat him (Romney), meaning as a Republican."

Hmm. 'Cause, you didn't say Republican. You said Mormon. Mormon's what you said, and Mormon and Republican aren't trippingly close linguistically.

So, Al, you know; having tried twice to excuse the inexcusable, there is always, finally, a good old fashioned "my bad" to be given. Say, "I'm sorry," and be done with it.

For the record, what I won't be doing right now: holding my breath. My lung capacity could in no way preserve enough air to wait for an apology that must take its place in line behind the apology due from the Tawana Brawley affair. And from the "I regret" having said "If the Jews want to get it on, tell them to pin their yarmulkes back and come over to my house." And even that's back of the line from offering sorrow for referring to Jews as "diamond merchants."

More seriously, there are seven dead who still wait for an apology over Freddie's Fashion Mart and "white interlopers."

But you know what, Al? Forget it. Don't bother with any justifications. After the umpteenth cocktail of hate and hypocrisy you've served up, I would say to you exactly as you said to Don Imus: "What is any possible reason you could feel that this kind of statement could be just forgiven and overlooked?"

-John Ridley

Sunday, May 06, 2007

And justice for all


Regular readers of my blog may remember a post I made months ago when Martha Stewart was sentenced to prison. In it, I condemned the appetite for prison sentences--even in non-violent crimes--in the American justice system. I argued that Martha might better learn her lesson if you hit her where it hurts (and where she obviously places her value), which is in her pocketbook.

Now at the risk of being a hypocrite, and at the risk of betraying my utter contempt for this woman and people of her kind, let me say that I think Paris Hilton's recent prison sentence is just. You have to tailor the punishment to fit the crime, but also to fit the personality of the person being sentenced. Paris is leading the new wave of a pervasive culture of entitlement. Famous for being famous, she's prissy, bitchy, unattractive, and contributes nothing positive to this planet, while riding on her family legacy. While that alone shouldn't land her in the pokey, driving under the influence of alcohol with a total disregard for the laws of the nation, does. Locking Paris up, even for a short time, will send a message to her and her would-be followers, that they are not above the law. And that's hot.

Happy Birthday Emma!

Today is my niece Emma's 5th birthday, so today Dara and I attended her backyard party/BBQ/bounce-house extraordinaire. Food came in the form of burgers and hot dogs and pink cake; entertainment was provided by the aforementioned bounce-house, and the company was provided by assorted friends and family and many little wee people running around. Also there was a strange princess lady running around which made things interesting, but the important thing is that Emma had a good birthday, which she seemed to do. Happy Birthday Emma!

And now for the rest of my weekend:

Last night Dara, Laird, Harrison and I made a futile attempt to see a Spider Man 3 matinee. When that inevitably failed, we went to La Fondue, a Melting Pot knock-off, which was actually much better the second visit. After that, we watched "The Queen" which, although it isn't really a Saturday night kind of movie, was quite entertaining. Much emphasis has been placed on Helen Mirren's breathtaking performance (rightfully so), but the story gave us a fly-on-the-wall glimpse into life in the House of Windsor, which is truly surreal. More interesting, still, was the juxtaposition between the modern lifestyle as seen in Tony Blaire (played with equal brilliance by the underrated Michael Sheen) versus the old traditions of the monarchy. It's too subtle to discuss here, but the movie is worth checking out on a relaxed night of movie watching.

Now it's back to work. Only one more week of Heritage Point's "Luxury Apartments."

Thursday, May 03, 2007

The doctor's latest news


Okay, so round two in the ongoing doctor saga (two more visits to go, at least). For anyone who cares and who isn't grossed out, the latest is:

-I lost 4 lbs since last week
-I'm actually 2 inches shorter than I thought I was
-The robes in the doctor's office don't cover you near as much as you'd like if the doctor accidentally leaves the door to the exam room open
-Still checking to see if I have that weird special hernia
-Oh, and the doctor thinks I have Diabetes Insipidus (which, if you look it up, doesn't quite have the teeth of type 2 diabetes or anything crazy like that. Also, doesn't seem like it's my lifestyle that brought this about. Just a liver that doesn't produce the proper AHA liquid-processors).

So I had to fast since dinner last night, then had to give blood, wee, and then went to work and was starving. Had to get food before I passed out. Had bad Thai food, but I didn't pass out, which is good.

This sunday, I have to produce a day's worth of wee, bring in said wee to the doctor on Monday, give more blood, and then wait for some guy in a lab coat to tell me what's wrong with my wee. And that's the doctor's latest news. Oh, and the doctor liked my tattoo. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

It all comes out in the wash

Tonight was my last time doing laundry in a communal laundry facility... at least for one year. Dara and I have a regular routine of six loads of laundry every two weeks, and we'll have our own washer/dryer within two weeks. No more sweating and grunting, carrying two giant bags of laundry to the room; no more fumbling with a pre-paid card; no more paying for six dryers, and pulling out only five dry loads of laundry. Goodbye laundry room!