Who takes the blame when this happens?

This article doesn't really need any commentary from me.

Sunday night comforts

My favourite Sunday-night pastime involves relaxing, recovering from the weekend and watching a predictable, comfortable movie on TV. Movies like "Air Force One," or "Back to the Future," which are comfortable because you've seen them several (and in some cases, dozens) of times. What a departure, then, when I saw the daring, cinematic masterpiece, "Pan's Labyrinth."

The members of my party probably won't agree, but if the movie weren't so gruesome (and it truly was the goriest movie I've seen to date), I feel like the movie would have been better received in my party.

Still, the gore doesn't detract from the brilliance of this movie, which lies primarily in the imagery and the story. I don't want to give anything away about the plot, except to say that the movie takes us along as we see the world through the eyes of a young girl who is living the horrors of Spain, post civil war. This little girl creates elaborate fantasies, which have a sinister quality to them. Whether her fantasies are meant to escape the real world, or whether they are merely mental manifestations of the violence she is surrended by, is hard to say, but the beauty of this film is hard to deny. And the imagery is hard to let go. I think most people will find it hard to forget the image of the character whose eyes are in his hands. He's like a neo-nazi gollum character.

In any case, I anticipate that this will be the best movie I see all year.

Weff this!

A colleague of mine introduced me to a new, addictive way to spend your free time. I will post the URL here, but be warned: this will consume you. At least that's the effect it had on me. If you think you're ready, go here and write back to tell me how you're doing:

www.weffriddles.com


My one piece of advice (besides stay away!) is to follow the clues very closely.

Epistolic Exchange

Some of my readers may well know an old friend and former roommate of mine, Gavin Williams. Well, Gavin is difficult to describe, without reaching too far into hyperbole, but he is an interesting character. I hadn't heard from him for a while, so I sent him a letter. The letter, his response, and my ensuing rejoinder are all included below for your reading benefit. Unfortunately the situation requires too much explanation for those on the outside, but those readers who are acquanted with the situation may have an idea what this is all about.
___

Gavin,

If I sent an email to a long lost friend every time I thought about one, I'd be a prolific emailer. As it is, I'm a prolific thinker, and an occasional emailer. But as it is, "occasional" here means about every three plus years, and that's a long time by anyone's standards.

I'm just writing to catch up and see how you are. What's new? How's your family? Has it grown any since 2004? (God, has it been that long?)

For my part, life has been good to me. You may or may not know that Dara and I got married in Hawaii last may (it was a small, but beautiful, wedding). We've been living in California for the past year, with Dara working as a trainer for Lending Tree, while I train as a commercial real estate appraiser (of all things). So that's us. If you have some time on your hands, I'd love to know how you're doing. I hope this email finds you well.

Cheers,
Myke


___

It's not just a long time. It's negligent and rude. As for me, lots is
new, my family is doing the best it can and yes it's grown since 2004. And
if you were my best friend, like I thought you were in second year at
Glendon, you would know that. But instead, your wife blew me off when I
invited you to my wedding and I never heard from you again until now. For
years I did my best to stay in touch with you when I could, even when you
were on the road, and I went through Dara whenever I couldn't contact you
myself. When my life changed dramatically, whether for my masters program
or getting married, I contacted you. I recall even calling long distance
just to tell you I was engaged. So given that I tried, and you're just a
prolific thinker, ask me if I think you're trying hard enough now for me to
care that you got around to emailing me.

And instead of getting defensive, like most people do when someone yells at
them, actually think about what I'm saying and see if there's more that you
can do to repair a friendship than just saying "oh, I finally got around to
writing instead of thinking.

__




Sir Gavin,

Don’t talk to me about rude. Rude is turning a letter of greeting into one of conflict. And don’t instruct me not to get defensive, either. You who would turn the hospitality of my letter into an opportunity to stab at me after your long and obvious years of bitterness. I can see you’re still living in that fantasy world of yours, where Gavin is the perfect, chivalrous knight. Well, here’s a wake up call to your fantasy: you are not so perfect, and neither is your memory.

You paint a portrait of the loyal friend faithfully trying to get a hold of his best friend (a moniker of your devising, not mine), but your memory of the situation is slightly skewed. For starters, you never called me to tell me about your engagement. In addition, your wedding invitation was made out to “Michael Harrison and guest,” which ignores the longstanding friendship you had with Dara at the time, although it is consistent with your later policy of being condescending to, and often ignoring her. (She has a name and you know it, so don’t just call her “[my] wife.”) Moving on, my wife didn’t blow you off for your wedding, it was your stag and doe, and you blew her off first. Your brother invited me, through Dara, and she told him I wouldn’t make it because it was her birthday. The nerve. And what about inviting her? Not best friend material, I suppose. I’ll have her mail her friendship bracelet back.

And here’s how I found out that you were going to be a father: “P.S. She’s due by December 10th.” A little postscript tacked on to the end of a mass email. This is how you let your “best friend” know you’re going to be a dad and that you’re getting married? Was it because you were hiding something? Because maybe it wasn’t your child, as we all suspect? Or was it because, unlike that fantasy image of yourself, you are as imperfect a friend as the rest of us? I suspect it’s because you’re as much of an asshole as you have characterized me to be. Ask yourself why so many of your other friends didn’t stick around.

Now if the idea of me occasionally thinking of you is so offensive to you, take solace in the fact that I shall fully abandon the practice. Some things never change, Gavin; and your tenuous grasp on reality proves just that.

P.S. We have a cat.

Sacha's speech

It needs no explanation.

It’s been a while since I’ve done a top-10 list, so here goes:

There are many people with incredible singing voices who have already received much-deserved recognition here. But there is a group of people who fit into the smaller, yet no less distinguished group of men and women who have incredible speaking voices. Because I’m a relentless chauvinist, I have included only the men for now. But the women are out there too (I’m thinking of Judy Dench, Kate Winslet, Scarlett Johanssen among others).

But there’s something about a deep, resonant, almost evil voice that makes you wish one of the following actors was the guy who read your bedtime stories (except number 10- that’d just be creepy). You’ll notice that many of the following actors have played, not just big, but iconic roles in cinematic history. And that says something.


10) William Shatner - He has a style we all mock, which is a sort of staccato, jumbled cadence, which sounds like a plugged toilet trying to unclog itself, but if you listen to his spoken word/music CD, you’ll hear what a musical voice he has.

9) Sean Connery - Once again, the subject of many first-time impressionist, his resonant voice goes down like a fine scotch. Naturally.

8) David Bowie - Known mainly for his singing, Mr. Ziggy Stardust has a rhythmic voice that curls around your head like thin wisps of grey smoke.

7) Orson Welles - He should really be higher up the list, but the man who was once considered for the part of Darth Vader’s voice (and subsequently passed over because it was thought he would be too recognizable) was not as versatile in his tone. Still, who would better utter the infamous last word, “Rosebud.”?

6) Morgan Freeman - Although his voice is not quite as deep as some others on this list, Morgan has a calming tone that makes penguins fun to watch. He has the voice you would choose if you could customize the narrator inside your head.

Gilbert Godfrey - Oops. How’d he get in here?

5) Christopher Lee - Sub-baritone. His basso delivery is instantly recognizable in his over 80 films. There is perhaps only one other person on this list who has a lower register, but Christopher’s tone is rich and melodic. He could not narrate any audio book without rustling all the pages in the room, like an autumn wind. He has the voice of an angel. Or perhaps a demon.

4) James Earl Jones - He has a rich, booming, woody voice. He is the reason we have a level control on the subwoofers in our home theatre systems. Otherwise, our livers would liquefy. He has leant his voice to two of the most masculine, powerful characters on film: King Mufasa on one end, and Darth Vader on the other spectrum.

3) Jeremy Irons - At the other end of Mufasa’s paw was the sniveling, powerless Scar. But what power he had, lay in his voice. The voice of Jeremy Irons. He sometimes lets his lets his talents go to waste (as in the recent movie “Eragon”) but his power is not diminished. He still have a voice of cold steel.

2) Patrick Stewart - Known originally for his theatre performance (I only saw him once as Hamlet’s Cladius), and more famously as Captain of the Starship Enterprise (a role he perfected once he took it over from our number 10), Patrick’s theatre training probably influenced his mannerisms somewhat. But guided by his classically-trained delivery, is a booming, authoritative voice, that has the subtle undertones of an earthquake. Three films tie Patrick Stewart to our number one, who is:

1) Sir Ian McKellan - It is no surprise that two of the voices on this list were featured prominently in the Lord of the Rings movie franchise. Not when you consider the source. But there’s a reason Peter Jackson chose Christopher Lee and Ian McKellan to play his wizards- other than the fact that they are great actors- and that is this: the voice. How convincing it is to have incantations shouted from great towers and mountains when they are shouted with such power and grace as Ian McKellan. He has broken, once and for all, the stereotype of the gay man with a feminine lisp. In fact, he performed a third-level dungeon-master spell on that stereotype. All the while using a gravelly voice that simulates the mating calls of large, woodland creatures. (It’s getting late).


Some runners-up:

Michael Clark Duncan - He sounds like a talking walrus, which is awesome.
John Rhys-Davies - If trees could talk, they’d sound like this.
David Carradine - A lisp, yes, but a kung fu lisp!
Don LaFontaine - Movie voice guy. How can you not list movie voice guy?

My eyes are bigger than my stomach

Ever dine at an all-you-can-eat buffet and you excitedly heap on your first plate, only to find out you can’t eat it all? You want so much of what there is to offer that the portions you choose are greater than that which you can consume. Well, this famous cliché applies to more than just food.

I’ve been blessed with an abundance of friends and family who all want to spend time with me as much as I do with them. When the loved ones around me invite me out, I usually get excited and say yes. Unfortunately, as the title suggests, sometimes your eyes are bigger than your stomach. What sounds like a good idea on a Monday morning, can seem overwhelming by Saturday afternoon, as the details roll in, or as other situations arise, or as fatigue falls in around you, or as you realize you have nothing to wear, or any number of reasons occur, which make you look like the flake you probably are.

The unintended consequence here is that you can hurt those close to you, and I can only hope those around me know that they are loved and that while the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak. Or, that my eyes are bigger than my stomach.

Roxy Music

Last friday, LTA hit up the Roxy- part of LA's holy trinity of clubs which also includes the Viper Room and the Troubadour. Larry got to test his new amp's sea legs and the rest of us held on tight as we ran through classic Lower Than Angels anthems which you can find here. So I'll let the music and pictures do the explaining.

The year in review

The new year is upon us. The media has already given us our top ten lists of the year, including Top 10 biggest names in 2006 deaths (including two late entries by James Brown, President Ford and Saddam Hussein), Top 10 movies (two of my pics would be "Little Miss Sunshine" and "Stranger than Fiction"), and Top 10 shameful celebrity moments (hint: most would include Britney Spears and O.J. Simpson).

On the personal side, I got married in sunny Hawaii to the beautiful Dara Harrison (nee Golden). Together we are continuing our Southern California journey, which includes the addition of a spunky little cat named schmaty. Throughout 2006, with the aid of my brother-in-law, I've worked on some secret skills (about 5% of the way there!), I've hired a lawyer (unrelated), I bought a car with my wife (Balcario!), and I assembled no less than three pieces of Ikea furniture. I've made new friends and had friends move away. Sadly, we lost dear Uncle Lawrence in 2006 and the loss is still keenly felt throughout the family.

Which makes 2006 a year of hardships, as well as great joy (the wedding). As I write this brief post, expressing my hopes for a better 2007, I know that my family at home is sad. Poor little Celeste, the beloved family cat, passed away on the very first day of 2007. As bad a sign as that can seem, my hopes for a good 2007 remain. I know Mom, Evert and Ashley were especially fond of Celeste, yet I hope their sadness is assuaged--even slightly--with the knowledge that she is no longer suffering. Celeste was perhaps the most photographed animal ever, and one of the most beloved. Her memories will continue on throughout the years.


So 2007 will be a year, not of resolutions, but of hope for a better future and a calmer passage through the seas of life.