I'm married to the funniest, prettiest girl ever. She's married to a neurotic musician with a penchant for cleanliness and an over-developed sense of personal hygene. Oh and I write stuff.
Hugo Weaving sounds very "Smith-ish" when reading Wachowski dialogue.
Wachoski dialogue is flaccid and overdrawn; self-important.
Natalie Portman is hot.
Anything can be interpreted as a present-day commentary.
Anything can be manipulated to be present-day commentary (even a 25-year-old comic book).
I appreciate subtlety when it's left as subtlety. Drawing attention to the cleverness of subtlety takes away all hints of cleverness. For example: naming a character"V" who espouses the philosophy of Guy Fawkes (Novemver 5th- or V). In this case, not the Wachowski's fault, but drawing attention to these kinds of connections is as annoying as the guy in 1st-year University picking out all the metaphors in the William Carlos Williams poem. Damn I hate that guy! Please respect the intelligence of the viewer (same goes with the obtuse naming of "Mobil" station which represented Neo's "Limbo" in Matrix Revolutions.)
Natalie Portman is hot.
Alliteration is not now, nor ever was very clever. Period.
Nubile Natalie needs a nice nap, which is necessary for her naughty energy to neck with nice guys like me who would nibble non-stop on her beautiful ni... better stop here.
I can think of 2,986 reasons why Zacarias Moussaoui should die, and die painfully. I can think of 2,986 reasons why Moussaoui should be strung up by his toenails and left to hang while crows peck at his face, and people can hear his screams for miles. 2,986 people, forever hereafter known as the victims of 9/11, give silent testimony to the atrocities of Moussaoui’s sin of omission. That he failed to tell authorities of the 9/11 plot is not only duplicitous, it is in my mind as blameworthy as the murderers behind the controls of the jets that day in 2001. There are 2,986 reasons why we should kill Zacarias Moussaoui, and I can think of one really good reason why we shouldn’t.
Besides the obvious points about the futility of executing a would-be suicide pilot, or the idea of creating yet another martyr for fundamentalists, the execution of Zacarias Moussaoui will accomplish an unintended objective: it will bring us that much closer to their level.
Allow me to qualify that. Prior to the U.S. Invasion of Iraq, the Iraqi government carried out both public and private executions. In 2005, Iran carried out the execution of 159 souls, for crimes as great and as petty as murder, rape, sodomy and apostasy. Mutiny and sodomy will get you killed in Pakistan. Saudi Arabia performs executions for witchcraft, drug offences and sexual misconduct. Moussaoui's sins are far greater than sodomy, yes, but it behooves us, as a reasoning, Western power, to not impose the death penalty in this case.
Make no mistake, this isn’t a attack on the evils of capital punishment, though that argument could be made. But Government-sanctioned execution has a long history of killing individuals to impose fear and dissuade dissent. This is the idiom of the culture of violence, carried out through a governing body. We need to break off from that tradition of bloodshed, and show the fundamentalist world that we’re better than them: we can reason, we can abstain, and we can impose justice in a firm yet compassionate way. Kill Moussaoui, and we’re par for the course. Let him live, and we send a message to the fundamentalist world that they can’t (but will probably still try to) ignore: The Great Satan stayed its hand.
Speaking in practical terms, the greatest punishment one can impose on a man like Moussaoui would be to keep his as a prisoner forever, denying him the opportunity to ever fly into the white house, to ever martyr himself; he will never enjoy the company of 1,000 virgins. He will not get the death that he does not fear.
The Hunt for Oscar (Forgive my formatting problems)
Well it’s that time again. The betting pools are closed; the dresses are cut and fitted; the nipples have been band-aided; and celebrities are currently dodging Joan Rivers with the enthusiasm of a Jake and Heath on set.
Now that I’m a west-coaster, I won’t have to wait up until 1:00 am to see the Oscar results. But it also means I don’t have a lot of time to demonstrate my supernatural ability to estimate which nominees will take home Oscar. In a few more hours, you’ll think I picked up from the East Coast feed to guess the winners. Well not me: this is all me baby:
I’m going to have to breeze through this, so forgive the absence of my typical wit and literary dexterity. Down to it:
Category Nominations Winner Actor in a Leading Role Philip Seymore Hoffman, CAPOTE Terrance Howard, HUSTLE & FLOW Heath Ledger: BROKEBACK… Joaquin Phoenix: WALK THE LINE David Strathairn: GOOD NIGHT… Winner: Philip Seymore Hoffman* (CORRECT)
Actor in a Supporting Role George Clooney, SYRIANA Matt Dillon, CRASH Paul Giamatti, CINDERELLA MAN Jake Gyllenhaal, BROKEBACK… William Hurt: A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE Winner: Paul Giammatti* (WRONG- George Clooney)
Actress in a Leading Role Judi Dench, MRS HENDERSON PRESENTS Felicity Huffman, TRANSMERICA Keira Knightly, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE Charlize Theron, NORTH COUNTRY Reese Witherspoon, WALK THE LINE Winner: Reese Witherspoon* (CORRECT)
Actress in a Supporting Role Amy Adams, JUNEBUG Catherine Keener, CAPOTE Frances McDormand, NORTH COUNTRY Rachel Weisz, THE CONSTANT GARDENER Michelle Williams, BROKEBACK… Winner: Catherine Keener* (WRONG- Rachel Weisz)
Directing Ang Lee, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN Bennett Miller, CAPOTE Paul Haggis, CRASH George Clooney, GOODNIGHT… Steven Spielberg, MUNICH Winner: Paul Haggis* (WRONG- Ang Lee)
Adapted Screenplay BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN CAPOTE THE CONSTANT GARDENER A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE MUNICH Winner: A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE* (WRONG- BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN)
Original Screenplay CRASH GOODNIGHT & GOOD LUCK MATCH POINT THE SQUID AND THE WHALE SYRIANA Winner: CRASH* (CORRECT)
Cinematography BATMAN BEGINGS BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN GOOD NIGHT & GOOD LUCK MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA THE NEW WORLD Winner: MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA* (CORRECT)
Documentary Feature DARWIN’S NIGHTMARE ENRON: THE SMARTEST GUYS IN THE… MARCH OF THE PENGUINS MURDERBALL STREET FIGHT Winner: MARCH OF THE PENGUINS* (CORRECT)
Best Visual Effects NARNIA KING KONG WAR OF THE WORLDS Winner: KING KONG* (CORRECT)
*Why?
Actor: Because people are tired of bio pics. No one wants to see Joaquin running around singing Johnny Cash in every damn interview, the way that Jamie Foxx did after he won his statue. Plus, Philip’s great acting needs to finally be recognized.
S/Actor: Because Paul Giamatti really deserved a statue for SIDEWAYS, but he was up against Jamie Foxx. That’s just not fair.
Leading Female Actor: Reese. Easy pick.
Supporting Female Actor: Catherine Keener, because she stood out, despite the dominating role that Hoffman put forward. It’s easy to get overlooked, but I think the industry will recognize Catherine’s contribution to the film. That, and Frances McDormand is already recognized as brilliant.
Director: Paul Haggis because he’s Canadian. And because it was a well-executed film. I haven’t met a person who didn’t enjoy Crash.
Best Picture: I think it should be CRASH, but I think the academy will flock to BROKEBACK mostly for political reasons. The premise to me doesn’t seem that interesting. An ironic juxtaposition, yes, but not that clever. Doesn’t push any boundaries, other than to polarize the people who will continue to accept homosexuality, and those who will forever rebuff that group. Like I said: ithis category will be political.
Adapted Screenplay: A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE deserves this win because the film was so completely ignored in almost every category. It was so deserving, and was almost completely shut out. This will be the Academy’s way to redeem itself. Sort of.
Original Screenplay: Crash was such a well-written script. Yes, it relied on many unlikely coincidences, but in the literary world, you can just call it synchronicity. It’s very difficult to write a script with an ensemble cast, yet Paul Haggis manages to do so without being preachy or overreaching.
Cinematography: Geisha. I don’t know why.
Documentary: I think it might go to MURDERBALL, because there are certain subjects and themes that gain immediate attention in Hollywood, including race, sexual orientation, and physical handicap, but those Penguins are survivors and they’ll survive here. If not, at least they didn’t have to rent tuxedos for tonight’s ceremony.
Best Visual Effects: I think it’ll go to Peter, because the other films were not as strong, visually. KONG wasn’t perfect, but it was overall stronger, visually. Adamson isn’t as developed as a director as Peter is. It’s hard to be, when you break in from the cartoon world. Peter’s already got enough golden statue weight at home, but it’ll go to him.
Most neglected movie of the year: A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE. Damn you, Hollywood!
Notes: William Hurt was in A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE for such a short part of the film; he did a great job, but barely represents the great film he was a part of. ________________________________________________________________________________ Well, I did okay. I changed some choices right, right at the last minute. That's kinda cheating, but Cherie and Larry can attest that I changed one of these these answers: Director. I had a last minute change of heart. All of a sudden, I just knew Ang Lee would win. So, I got 7 of 11, or 63% Could have been better, but not bad overall. I'm glad I was wrong about BEST PICTURE. Go Crash!
It’s interesting to peruse the pages on MySpace to see what kinds of people like to put themselves out there. While most people I know use MySpace as a platform to network, to meet new people and to keep in touch with old friends, it seems the vast majority use the service as a stage for their own flattery. MySpace is the biggest success in the name of vanity since the mirror. Love me, rate me, worship and adore me, they beg, as they post photos of their nipples, their abs, their great hairdos; countless shots of allegedly disinterested girls and boys puckering up to the camera. They play hide-and-seek with the lens that they hope is going to propel into the arms of thousands of lovers who will shower them with compliments and pay them the kind of attention they’ve only dreamed their parents would give.
Another scary trend which isn’t necessarily caused by MySpace, but rather demonstrated by it, is the crop of princesses who are not only unashamed of their prissy nature, they actually revel in being a spoiled brat. These are the types of girls who have “Daddy’s little princess” bumper stickers; pink, glittery T-shirts bragging, “I’m a spoilt brat!” It’s that talk-to-the-hand, my-daddy-is-better-than-your-dad bullshit. They preen and prattle on about how important they are to the world. I can’t be too mad, though. They have to learn about the world sometime, and boy will it be an awakening.
MySpace is a good way to show me the kinds of people I am so glad I will never have to befriend.
Now that Vancouver is to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, we’ve been getting some questions rolling in about our great nation. Like…
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's(cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list ofthem in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) A :What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can protect yourself by spraying your face with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
